On My Mind
I just had a few things on my mind that I wanted to release.Somewhat of me venting.........
I am unsatisfied with my current status in school and life. I feel as if I have failed myself as a black woman attempting to surpass the stereotypes. The best thing I can say is I have not been knocked up by some guy. I can still make it out of this nightmare because there is no one depending on me.
I am doing this school thing for myself, so I can succeed and be able to support myself and children when the day arrives. It's true I am a struggling girl who always seems to turn to the wrong "people" for help.
When I should be looking to God...I seek humans.
I think a lot of us make this mistake.
I could go on all day about things I do not like or are dissatisfied about within myself but I am gonna spare y'all of my pity party. I ought of be sleep but there's much moving about in this brain of mine. I just basically finished my accounting project....which is good even though I may fail the class anyway...I'm praying for a miracle. I missed an exam in this class....not sure how....I swear that lady didn't tell us we were having one!! Anyway I am starting to get long winded....back to topic.
On a positive note....I am slowly understanding accounting and losing weight!
I think for too long have I longed for a perfect male companion that I thought once I got one I would be complete.....but how can I want someone who doesn't exist so bad?
I should be focus on school and getting done but my mind is elsewhere. I have these strong feelings that I am kept bottled up....I am ready to explode! I may have fallen too hard this time. But maybe thats ok...maybe life as I know it will not be over.......this is just something I have to deal with one step at a time. I am afraid of coming on too strong..sometimes it scares people away. I love hard which isn't always good. I probably shouldn't publish this but I don't think my blog is read anymore anyway...been too long since my last one. So here are my feelings out in the open for everyone to view.....I'm gonna go to bed now.
Lord, please provide strength and courage for the new day. I am a sinner, please hear my cry.
posted by A Rare Commodity @ 11/28/2006 12:42:00 AM
2 Comments:
I believe in you. Otherwise I wouldn't like you so much. Thats why I push sometimes. I say again, I believe in you and so does our lord.
I've been thinking....here I am trying to fuss and complain about my life....dare I forget the things others have overcame for me to be a educated black woman who can walk tall and be proud of my heritage in a room full of whites. I have been nothing but blessed my entire life, how dare I complain?!?!?
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